3 pictures that PEPPY catch on High School

thanks to Peppy for capture this for me
a nice memories with friend
even just few of mine
love they , yeah ~

The Way I Loved You

Everything cool
it's gonna be okay
and I know , maybe I'll leave and
laugh about it someday
but not today , no
cause I don't feel so good
I'm tagled up inside
My heart is on my sleeve
tomorrow is a mistery tn me

And it might be wonderful
it might be magical
it might be everything I've waited for
a miracle , but even if I fall in love again
with someone else
it could never be the way
I loved you

Letting you go is making me feel so cold
and I've been trying to make believe it doesn't hurt
but that makes it worse
see I'm wreck inside
my toung is tied and
my whole body feel so weak
the future maybe all I reall need

Like a first love , the only one and only true love
wasn't it written all over my face
I loved you like you loved me
like something that can never be replaced

how if ..

time past so fast
cann't come back to time in the past
even use the time machine
I want spend my time so slowly
enjoy everything happen to my life
even it hurt or maybe it's a nice memories
but in other side , I want the time past quickly
want to graduate soon ! But it just remember me that I must go

let's imagine now
what if I make that 30 days in a good situation ?
can I go with a good heart too ?
what if I make that 30 days in bad situation ?
maybe it will be easy to me , seems very easy to say goodbye .
But , is it what I want ?
It just 'what if'
just an ugly think in my head
sorry , I cann't stop counting and imagine . Huhuu

M A T I R A S A

ini titik jenuhku pada semua perasaan
rasa menyerahku kepada semua yang terjadi
aku tak lagi meminta banyak seperti dulu
melupakan semua harapan dan keinginan dalam hati
inginku mengacuhkan perasaan ini
menghindari pertemuan yang sejatinya aku inginkan
mungkin aku akan tunduk pada sang waktu
menyerahkan semua padanya tanpa menuntut apapun
aku tak pernah tahu akan diapakan hati ini olehnya
apakah sebuah sinar ataukah percik hitam yang akan dia berikan
entahlah , aku menyerahkan semua ini padanya
aku lelah harus terus menunggu
aku sudah kenyang oleh semua rasa sakit
cukup terbuang waktuku untuk menangisi itu semua
mungkin pergi pun juga tidak berpengaruh apa-apa
aku tau aku tak akan bisa menahan air mata
aku harus mengumpulkan segenap rasa untuk menguatkan hati
yang kulakukan hanya menghindari , supaya perasaan ini tak terlalu lagi
agar sakit ini bisa tertutup dgn senyuman manis
di puncak perasaan ini akirnya aku tahu apa yg aku mau .. mati rasa sajalah aku ..

say to my own self , I'm not cruel !

avoid everything about , I will !
I know I can , just must find the right way to doing this
seems I get started can handle all this week
avoid you , avoid this feeling . Just runaway ..
yeah , maybe I just met once time this week
is that prove that my way get success ?
just happy with your friend , don't thinking about me
talking to my self that I'm not cruel
is that the right way ?

I feel lost and I want home

when I think I don't have any place to running out
I remember that I still have home
a place which always open for me in everything happened
just want get home , now

on my way to avoid

I need relaxing
not thinking about all
all that happened in my life
just feel tired and get bored
who can understand me ?
who can understand that I need someone to talk to ?
runaway , just runaway
effort to avoid all
effost to ignore the reason which can make me feel alone
say to my own mind that I'm not alone here
couldn't stay away but must !

a pair of

this my best capture
hope that step come to me
no problem , even
just one of his million steps

Get Remembered c:

the most unforgeting person to me was you..
the one who teach me how to loving person
the one who gave many lesson and positive side
the one which can be anything for me
and the one who I cann't touch but he always get place in this heart..

I miss you , Farrendi Avin Putra
and it's always been you that I miss since you gone but it unspeakable
even I don't say , you know I never forget you..
Will you visit me ?
Miss the way you make me calm with every hug and speak up about problems

hey Mr. Silent, you know so far I'm doing well..
But I think it's more well when you're beside me
I know it's impossible , I need you here..
Waiting you come here
and remember that you always have part in this heart . ALWAYS !
No one can change the way I feel and the way I love you..

I'm sleepy :z

in my class , sitting in my favorite chair near the window
the sun shining so brightly outside and the air so fresh
make me warm and cool
today the first day I get lesson after 4 days in holiday
every get lesson I feel so sleepy , like now
yeah , I always get sleep in class
don't care with the situation inside
it's easy to me to sleep and I don't know why ..
C'mon Sis , you're in third grade of vocational high
please be serious !

sitting around here

here I'm
at KCF coffee Sarinah Malang
in the center of my town , Malang
with Eureka Friends
Agus , Musili , Bonar , Peppy , and Zein
we are in the second floor
looking outside
the street is so busy
looking outside and you can see "Alun-alun Malang"
church in front of it
gramedia in front of KFC and other

this is my town
was born here and until now live in here
I'm 18 years old
and a few month later I will leave all in this town
gonna miss it so much guys
I will enjoy here
hope I can enjoy in Yogya next
I'm sure I will back to Malang
and see it all again ..
proud of my town , MALANG :D

unspeakable

for bee ..

good night bee , how's your day ?
I miss you , your handphone still in me
wohoooo cann't contact you :c

pake bahasa indonesia aja ya , biar enak
postingnya gapake mikir ini bahasa inggrisnya apa , hehe
mungkin kamu gak pernah buka blog ku
eh bentar-bentar , pernah nggak kamu buka blogku ?
aduh malu aku ntar kalo kamu pernah buka
this site full of you , uhh *blushing*

unspeakable , yeah
aku mungkin (masih) nggak ngomongin ini sama kamu
rasanya gimana gitu kalo mau ngomong
kalo rang jawa sih bilangnya "nelongso"
apa ya bahasa indoesianya ? kasian mngkin ..

inget waktu kita lagi perjalanan ke dome
kamu tanya sesuatu yg buat aku bingung ?
"mee , gimana rasanya kalo kamu ketemu smaa temen TK mu"
awalnya aku bigung , kok tiba2 banget kamu tanya kayak gitu
pasti ada apa2 ini kalo kamu tanya gini .
pake gamau cerita lagi awalnya , ngeselin banget jadi orang
tapi aku sayang *alah*

trus waktu pulang akhirnya kamu cerita
"gimana besok2 kalo kita ketemu , apa bakalan kayak yg kamu bilang"
ternyata ini toh yg kamu pikirin
aku aja gak sampai mkir kayak gitu bee , maaf
tapi kamu ternyata udah mikirin gimana jadinya nanti kalo kita pisah
jujur aku masih gamau pisah sama kamu. tapi harus
fiuh

aku balik tanya ke kamu, emang kamu maunya kita pisahnya gimana
aku sedih hey waktu kamu bilang "setiap orang juga pasti gak pengen pisah"
aku gak bisa ngomong apa2 waktu itu
bener2 aget sama jawaban kamu bee
dan waktu itu aku cuma pengen peluk kamu
lebih erat lagi ..
maafin aku , aku gamau pisah . tapi aku emang harus pergi
makasih buat kamu yang udah berbesar hati dan gak egois
ngebiarin aku pergi karena aku punya cita ..
aku yakin kamu syaang sama aku bee , makasih :)

kita pikirin itu nanti , yang aku tau sekarang
kamu ada disamping aku dan kamu punyaku
begitu pulsa sebaliknya ..

am I cruel ?

I don't want think about it now
I don't want you to know
if the time come and I feel ready to say it
I will say it to you
but not now , I cann't
am I cruel ?
I just want enjoy all the time with you
never think that I will leave as soon as possible
this is not my plan
but I must go
this is out of my plan
but I leave early
I'm sorry , I will tell it to you

soon !

strange :s

post this in my bf school
feel strange
everybody look at me
or it just my feel ?
*lol

first , I just joke said that I wanted to accompany him practicing breakdance
then he came to my house and picked me up
and now , here I am
at SMAN 2 Malang
he practiceand me ?
just browsing . hehe

miss the moment follow him to his school like this
in a few month again , I will leave
leave all this usualysm
uhh , leave this my town too

freeze

your love, your body

cann't be mine forever
but I will freezing you in photo

hey , welcome march

today , second day in march

many words that I cann't say

february was left , and I don't want remember that month anymore

so many pain , hurt , cried , it's about love and freindship

feel so dark , and I cann't find the light

because my light was gone , and I couldn't find it

february full of lied , yes of course !

the guy who I loved was lied to me ..

but I still love him , with all hurt , pain and love

thankyou february , you teach me very well

so many things I can learn in that month

and welcome march

I want a new hope , a new life better than february

final exam more closer and I must prepare everything

wanna leave this town soon

but I feel so confused

sorry , it's a terrible feel

this post is so complicated

I'm sorry reader

I'm so messy

march , please be nice to me

to all people that I love

I want happiness in this month

and all people around me feel it too

thanks God , you still believe me to send me beside him

until now and I hope long last :)

and Thankyou for you bee , more than one year you beside me

you !

it always been you